ACHOO!!!

response: "science will help you!"

coming at you faster than the fastest sneeze!
(the airspeed of a sneeze can reach up to 250 mph!)


The cultural practice of saying "bless you" to sneezers implies both a belief in religion and a belief that "blessing" someone will ward off sickness. Saying "bless you" in this context (and in pretty much any non-sarcastic context) has the following drawbacks:
  • The growing secular population feels uncomfortable endorsing religion, mainly because religion is silly.
  • Scientific studies have clearly demonstrated that blessings don't improve health.
  • While secularists appreciate the concern for their health, blessing us is insulting. If we want something that is comforting but doesn't work we'll ask you for a cough drop.
  • Religion is silly. I mean, honestly.


In order to remedy this problem, many of us use an alternative to "bless you," namely "science will help you!" Because, unlike religion and blessings, science and medicine actually can help you recover from sickness!